Bedroom Pop Star Ivy Hawkins Faces Her Demons On New Single “PSYCHO”

From the confines of her bedroom in small town North Carolina, indie pop artist Ivy Hawkins creates dense, emotionally-driven music that chronicles her growth as an artist and person. On her latest effort “PSYCHO”, she pulls open the curtain on a toxic relationship she eventually escaped from, portraying the emotional toll through her slow-burning, moody sound. Written the week her relationship ended, the new single is filled with candid lyricism and vulnerability.

About the song and story behind it, she shares:

“I was in a VERY toxic relationship with him. I was emotionally and verbally abused almost every single day. I am not one to seek out argument or conflict of any kind, but with him, I was yelling and in tears almost every night trying to defend myself and people that I cared about. He turned me against my friends and he turned me against myself. Looking back, it’s so obvious: LEAVE. But in the moment, it wasn’t so simple. I cared about him and I thought that what we had was some real form of love that came with ups and downs. I was wrong; I was being manipulated. Everything was always my fault and he 100% did a great job at making me believe that. Listen, I am not perfect. I tried to leave that relationship while I was still in it and that was the worst mistake I could have made because he will forever hold it against me. I wanted him to trust me and that is why I stayed in for so long. Why? Because I was lonely. Because I thought that the good outweighed the bad. Because I thought I could change him. I was so wrong. That time period in my mind is pure darkness. I can barely look at photos of myself from that time because all I feel is negativity and all I think of is pain. I tried to escape many times, which resulted in him trying to kidnap me from my parents house at 3AM when he was drunk or another occasion when he attempted to take his own life. I stayed with him because I didn’t want him to hurt himself… I wish I could get back the time I lost. He would yell at me while I was driving, right in my ear “YOU ARE A SLUT! YOU ARE A PSYCHO! I FUCKING HATE YOU!” I would let him out of my car on the side of the highway only to pull over again 10 feet away to let him back in. What was I thinking?! It’s complicated, and you would only understand if you have been there, too.

All I can say is I’m glad I’m out. I’m glad that I can be Ivy again. I’m glad that I found peace and light and happiness again. I’m glad I am now in a relationship that is the complete opposite. I want to help others that are trapped. If telling my story helps one person, I’ll tell it over and over. It is NOT EASY to leave, but it is POSSIBLE and you can start today“.

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