NYC-based Indie Pop Artist Nick Catoire Announces New EP; Shares Remix Of Queer Heartbreak Single “I Can’t Look At You Now”

After leaving his swampy Louisiana hometown for the bright city of New York City, indie pop singer-songwriter Nick Catoire was able to step out of his past and unveil a part of him that was buried beneath his difficult childhood surrounded by abuse and bigotry. Born while his mother was in jail and with a father addicted to drugs, Nick spent most of his childhood being passed between family members. Eventually, his mother was released from prison and the two lived in a trailer before Nick was brought to his grandparents in Austin. One day, Nick left for New York City to start over, and with a newfound appreciation for music and life, Catoire has been writing music about his past and the celebration of queer love, including his latest single “I Can’t Look At You Now”.

Released a few weeks back, the song tells the story of his first love since moving to New York City and its difficult end: “It’s about my biggest heartbreak. Soon after my first love left me and shattered my world, we ended up at the same New Year’s party. At midnight, I watched him kiss his ex-girlfriend. I was trying so hard to play it cool. It was absolute hell. Growing up as the only gay guy in my town, I thought I would never find love. Falling for him made me believe I was wrong. When he left, all the fear and shame came back, dragging me lower than ever before. So, in the song, I’m telling him “I can’t look at you now”, but I’m also saying it to myself.”

Despite its heartbreaking status, Nick Catoire teamed up with 17 year old Toronto-based producer and newcomer Rubik for a moombahton inspired remix filled with infectious melodies and an uplifting resurgence. “I see this remix as a kind of spiritual successor to the original”, shares Rubik. “Nick’s song is sorrowful and melancholy, left bitter from the broken relationship. I continued the story, celebrating the eventual overcoming of his heartbreak“.

Alongside the new remix, Nick has announced his upcoming EP Stranger will be out October 22nd. Read the interview below to learn more about his journey and his upcoming release, and listen to the remix just past.

It sounds like you’ve had a very challenging upbringing. Looking back, how has it shaped your music?

I experienced a lot of abandonment and loneliness in my upbringing. My father was never around, and my mother struggled with drug addiction. So, I ended up spending a lot of time alone in my room listening to music. That’s what always helped me cope with things. I’d find comfort dancing around to catchy pop hooks and I’d feel seen when I listened to blues and soul. It really made me feel less alone, and it let me know that there were other people out there feeling the same things. And that’s really what I’m trying to do with my music. I’m hoping that it can help other people to feel less alone. Sometimes it’s more pop, sometimes it’s a little more soulful, but it’s always built from the music that helped me when I was growing up.

Would you say you found music or did music find you? At what point did that happen?

I’d say music found me. Or at least, it definitely helped me find myself. It wasn’t until I joined choir in school that I really felt like I was a part of anything. I got to be the kid who loved to sing and got all the solos. And I really needed that at the time. It was really the only thing that I looked forward to. Singing and making music. That’s really where I learned how to do everything that I love to do.

Who are some of your biggest influences when writing?

I grew up listening to Sam Cooke all the time before I got introduced to Whitney, Brandy, and Britney! I didn’t realize it at the time but basically I became obsessed with anything Max Martin touched. And most recently I’ve been listening to a lot of Lorde’s Melodrama album, Yebba, Adele and Jazmine Sullivan. So, kind of a mix! But, I guess I really love writing that’s vulnerable, specific and gets stuck in your head.

Who was the first person you came out to?

Well, I tried to come out a few times starting when I was like 8, but I always ended up going right back into the closet. One time I told a classmate, and then the next day I said, “Oh, I was doing an assignment for journalism class, just seeing how people respond.” LOL. But I mean, people knew, and bullied me for it, put post-it notes on my back with the f-slur that I walked around with all day. Stuff like that kept me from really coming out until I finished high school and I told my grandmother. And she was actually really supportive. She was still hopeful for a while that I’d “change my mind” and bring a girl home, but eventually she understood I wasn’t going to change and she was really amazing about it.

Do you feel like your music really changed after coming out/moving to NYC?

Oh it definitely changed. Before NYC I was just writing in my room, kind of afraid to really show anyone what I was writing. Once I came out and moved to NYC, I was actually writing songs about boys, and telling audiences about how my first boyfriend broke my heart. I never would have gone there with my music or let myself be vulnerable before that.

How does “I Can’t Look At You Now” fit within your EP?

The EP really tells the story of my first relationship and the heartbreak that I felt after losing what we had together. Being with him was really the first time that I had ever let myself believe that I could have love. The whole time that I was in the closet, I was watching everyone else around me date each other or break up, and I really thought that I would never be able to have those experiences. But then I moved to NYC, and I met a guy who looked at me like no one ever had before. And I finally felt that feeling. And it was really really beautiful, for a while. But, he wasn’t really ready to be with a guy, i think he still felt stressed out about what his family and friends thought about him being with a guy, and after about 8 months, he ended things and told me he wanted to “go back to being friends”. Kind of out of nowhere. And not long after that, I started to hear rumors that he had gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend. He actually showed up with her to a New Years Party that I was throwing and I watched him make out with her all night in my apartment. After that, I really couldn’t handle being around him, or seeing him at all. And that’s what “I Can’t Look At You Now” is about.

What was your reaction after hearing the new remix for the first time?

Oh I was obsessed! Rubik gave it these moombahton drums, and these tropical vibes that are so different from my original version of it and it works so beautifully! I actually heard it for the first time on a live stream with New York Topliner Camp. I was doing a Pride event series with them where I hosted a remix contest, performed my music and highlighted some of my favorite queer artists. So if you want to actually see my reaction, it’s on their Twitch channel!

What’s next for Nick Catoire?

Oh a lot of really exciting things! More music for sure! I have my Stranger EP coming out on October 22nd, which by the way, that’s the first time I’ve announced that! So! Boom! Exclusive! I’m really excited for it! I’m also going to be featured in some national magazines, performing live and touring which I’m gearing up for, and I’m definitely planning on collaborating with more queer artists. This year has been insane so far, and I’m really excited to see what’s gonna happen next.